If you're reading this, the chances are high that something is already blooming in you, or is getting ready to. How do I know this? Well, firstly, I don't believe in coincidences, so if you're reading this I think there's a reason why. Something about this topic has already connected with you, perhaps only on a subconscious level. Secondly, at the time of writing this, here in the northern hemisphere we are in the midst of Spring. Things are blooming all over the place and what happens outside is a reflection of our inner world - "as within, so without".
Expansion is natural to you. Just as an acorn grows into a tree, and a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, there is something inherent in you - in all of us - something 'pre-programmed' into our DNA so that we experience expansion and growth as part of our life cycle. As philosopher Alan Watts explained, "you are the universe experiencing itself" and the universe is in a state of constant expansion.
If personal growth is so natural, you might be wondering why it can often feel like a struggle, and why it is not always clear to you WHAT it is that is ready to bloom in you. As an extension of that, you might be confused about taking the next steps without knowing what they are. This is something that's been coming up a lot lately with my clients and which we have been talking about at the Women's Circle I host each month. While I'm not an expert, 'change management' was part of my first career and I've had plenty of personal experience more recently.
For the last few years I've been through what feels like a seismic shift. On the outside, I might look just a little bit different but the material and physical changes do not really reflect the extensive inner shifts I've experienced, and am still experiencing on a deep level. My whole belief system has changed. My attitude feels totally different. I'm doing work that I never would have thought possible and I've experienced various things that I would simply not have believed if someone had told me about them.
As a result, not only has my attitude towards change altered but I have also come to expect and welcome it. It wasn't always this way. When I first felt 'things' starting to happen, I remember feeling both scared and impatient - I didn't know what was happening, where to begin, or how things would look 'afterwards'. I only sensed that something was about to occur; something was calling me. I wondered if it was a mid-life crisis, or if I was crazy. (Maybe it was and I am, but I'm so much more content now, I don't care!)
It just so happened (Coincidence? I don't think so!) that I came across Rebecca Campbell's book Light is the New Black at exactly that time. I read (on p. 105): "You're never too old to answer your calling and it can never be too late. For the truth of the matter is that your soul is always calling, it was calling yesterday, it is calling today, and it will be calling next week.... Answering the calling of your soul isn't a one-time act; it's a perpetual conversation. It's not about doing one big thing, or finding one single answer to the big question 'What's my purpose?' It's doing hundreds and thousands of little things in that direction, one after the other. It's through following each and every little call - a step here and a leap there - that we find ourselves living the life we are called to live." As a sidenote, I will mention that since my 20s I've been teased about dressing like a 'ninja assassin'. Friends joked that my wedding day was the only time they'd seen me wear anything other than black. On the day that LITNB pretty much jumped off the shelf at me, I was a few sizes larger than I am now, my hair was dyed black and I had a heavy fringe, I wore thick black glasses, and the (obligatory) all-black outfit. Everything about me was dark and heavy. A few days before that fateful day in the bookshop, during a guided meditation, my 'word for the year' was revealed to me as "LIGHT". I had no idea what it meant. So when the book all but SHOUTED at me and I saw the title - which isn't immediately obvious as it's written in gold on a white background - it felt like a personal jibe from the universe. I knew I had to buy it. I laughed about the title with my kids as I walked to the till, knowing nothing about the author or the content of the book. It was the first of many "coincidences" that followed in quick succession, but I digress.
So, I had no idea how to understand what I was meant to do and I started looking for answers. I did what I always do and turned to my journal. This is what I wrote: "Rebecca Campbell says the things that got us to this point may not be obvious, except in retrospect - when we look back on our path and can make out the invisible thread that joined the dots to our current destination. Each point along the route - each 'dot' - prepared us by educating and guiding us, providing a stepping stone to the next thing. All of which culminated in the current point, itself merely another step. On reflection, I can already connect some of my dots and I see they form a strange and deviated line which stretches waaaay back.
For many years I heard whispers that I didn't quite understand. There were nudges. I felt drawn to certain things that deeply touched me and I'd open my mind for a while, only to have it close again amid the busy-ness of daily life. Yet I stashed books that I didn't read, I held onto certain articles, and made notes of random things in my journal. I wasn't paying conscious attention, but I was unknowingly nudged along regardless, putting things aside until the time was right.
Since I've been developing my intuition and spiritual connection, I have often found unread books on my Kindle, or handwritten notes and links to helpful websites scrawled in margins on exactly the topic I wanted to explore. In some cases, I'd already connected to people who could help me. At 43 (43 years as a practical, factual atheist) I've started reading Oracle/Tarot cards, learning about Reiki healing and universal consciousness! If I think about it rationally, it seems too bizarre to be true however in my gut (that most knowing of places) I finally feel as though I'm stepping towards my calling. My 'dotted line' has delivered me to this point at which I have a commitment to work on myself (through daily meditation, energy healing, developing my intuition, etc) and to helping others. That's apparently something else I've been accidentally doing for some time."
As you can tell, I was starting to put things together, to make sense of it, and, as hindsight is 20/20, I realised that all the signs were there, I just hadn't paid attention to them. If you've been waiting for me to get to the point, you need wait no longer. I've shared this for a reason and it's this:
If you currently find yourself in a similar position, it's likely you already know what you should be doing, and what your next steps are. At some level, you already know what's blooming in you. I recently put together a guided visualisation to help you connect with the part of you that knows. It was written for the Women's Circle and I'm happy to share it with you all. You can listen to it on the audio version of this post using the link below. (Get a pen and paper ready before listening, so you can note your findings immediately afterwards.)
As well as listening to this guided visualisation at any time, you might like to try some other methods of listening to your intuition. My favourites are obviously journaling, meditating, and using cards, but you can do whatever works for you. If you have cards yourself, my recent Beltane Spread might be helpful. If you don't, personal readings are available to purchase via email or in combination with a Reiki session.
Finally, I'd like to leave you with this thought: When we sense something new or exciting bubbling up within us, we can feel somewhat impatient to get on with it. We can’t wait... to see results, to make change, to see what will transpire... However, on an energetic level this can actually hinder us by shifting our vibration to one of resistance (a block) when we really need to be in a state of allowing (or 'flow') for things to unfold. It's important to remember that you are exactly where you need to be right now. Trust that the journey is as at least as important as the perceived ‘destination’ (probably more so) and allow things to bloom in their own good time.
---------------- About the author: Sarah Knight offers in-person healing and intuitive services in Billingshurst, West Sussex as well as distance healing and (email) readings worldwide. Find more at www.intentionalhealing.co.uk, on Facebook and Instagram.